Getting Ready

All this editing I have been doing has really re-stoked my writing fire.  I really think I may want to write again.  I always have, but I never was very serious about it.  I like words, but I preferred to take the journalistic route and went to school for Journalism.  When that train left the station without me, I left those desires to marinate while I pursued things like a job, groceries, paying my bills, etc.

It’s not that I have a lack of drive and I am certainly not lazy.  What I do have is a lack of confidence and a fear of wasting time.  Sure, I have a lot of great ideas, but when push comes to shove and things look like they might be hard, I hesitate. 

As most of you know, I have a huge anxiety problem.  I’ve had it since I can remember.  I have to take things one step at a time.  If I look at a starting point and then where I want to be in the end, my mind gets fuzzy with all of the details.  I get overwhelmed, my pulse quickens, a fire rises from my toes to me head, and I throw my hands up in the air and say, “Forget it!”.  I retreat back to the familiar.

I also am the type of person that likes to know everything before I start something.  I am always getting ready to get ready.  Right now it’s easier for me to hide behind someone else’s work, to perfect what they’ve already created.  I get lost in the sentence structure, the punctuation, and the dialogue between the characters.  It’s easier.  I don’t have the pressure of creating.  I move slowly through each sentence, each paragraph, and each chapter with little responsibility.

I do want more, but right now I’m happy to get lost in someone else’s masterpiece.  Someday I may change my mind, but today I’m happy to play a supporting role in someone else’s success.  You can call it laziness or lack of drive, but I call it Getting Ready. 

Exciting things are on the horizon…

So, I have been a very busy bee.  There has been so much going on in my life and I haven’t had/made any time to blog in a very long time.

I’ve been involved with my photography and have been busy getting photo’s for a friend’s new book, a paranormal investigation book. The team that I belong to, HAPS, has traveled to some famous haunted locations in order to obtain evidence for the book.  I’ve gotten some amazing shots, some of which may be seen on my photography site RecklessShots.  We also took part in the National Haunters Convention in the beginning of May.  Some of my shots from that event are on my site as well. 

I’ve also edited the third book in the same friend’s teen horror novel series.  This book has now been shopped around La La Land and has been picked up for a motion picture!  They liked my editing and it was mentioned that I may pick up some part-time work for this particular producer.  I’m super excited. 

I also have a radio show on Para-X on Tuesday nights.  The Blurred Line features HAPS team members as well as paranormal experts, cryptozoology, the weird, and the strange.  I also co-host a show, The Dark Side, on Friday nights with some of the same people on the same station.

On top of all of this, I’m working full time, investigating residential properties with HAPS, trying to get some other hobbies in, visiting friends and family, and trying to relax.  I’m not sure how I get all of this done, but I sure am enjoying myself.  I’m not sure what will happen if hubs and I ever realize the dream of a family. 

Keep a eye out!  You may see me zipping by somewhere…