Thursday, June 30, 2011

Where I'm From

I was inspired to do this template by Schmutzie.  It is a template from Fred First Floyd.  You can read the story and complete the template here.  It really does turn out some amazing stuff. 
Here we go.

Where I'm From

I am from the old, rusty red, white, and blue swing set, from Ace Bandages and Calamine Lotion.

I am from the big white house on the hill, the dirty city, and the rolling Alleghenies that always call you home with their sweet summer smells and cold, cold winters.

I am from the lily of the valley, the hardy mountain laurel, the rose bush that always springs new growth from old wood.

I am from family get-togethers and grudges, from John and Gail, and Alfred and Ida, and a difficult cousin.

I am from jealousy and confrontation.

From what reflection I was to my parents and what an angel I wasn't.

I am from God and all of the challenges of faith.

I'm from Pennsylvania and the Scottish Highlands, fine roasted beef and Yorkshire pudding smothered with homemade gravy.

From the many broken bones, cuts and bruises of Cousin Andy Ritchie who was careless and free spirited, the childless Aunt Ida who was a grandmother to me until she forgot who I was, and the invisible, tap-dancing cat of my Uncle Bill.
I am from the old cardboard box, under a well-used bed, dragged out every few years.

An open letter to public restroom users of the female persuasion

Women are pigs.  Yeah, I said it.  Women are pigs in a public restroom. 

You can make available all of the toilet seat covers in the world.  Women will still pee all over the seats and leave it for the next person to deal with.  You've got a toilet seat cover, SIT DOWN!  Unless, of course, the pig before you left feces all over the seat.  I've seen it.  It happens.

You do not have to use an entire industrial-sized roll of toilet paper each time you wipe.  You're killing trees, not to mention you're clogging the toilet for the next user.  I am by no means encouraging you to shake it off (though I'm convinced some people do) or use one square, but you do not have to cover your arm up to your elbow, for God's sake. If you drop a square on the floor, PICK IT UP.  I should not have to check my shoes when I leave the stall.

You do need to wash your hands, but you DO NOT need to splash water all over the vanity.  If you do, wipe it off.  There is no reason why I should have to have the tell-tale sink line across my crotch because you can't clean up after yourself.

You do need to make sure that your used paper towel is in the trash can.  I do not clean up after people at home and I'm sure as hell not going to clean up after a stranger.

Please follow these simple rules.  I will call a bitch out for bathroom indiscretions.  I've done it before and I will do it again.

Thank you for your attention.

Love,
Me

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Let me hold your bags, will you?

I don't claim to be psychic, but I definitely have the ability to pick up on others' feelings all the time from time to time. I am able to feel what other people are feeling and most of the time I take it into myself and don't realize that they are not my feelings.

I don't like to go to places where there are large groups of people because it's overwhelming on so many levels. I can usually tell when someone is in a bad mood without them saying a word.  Yeah... Yeah... body language... but it's much more than that.  I can just tell.  Normally I try to stay away from those people until they work their shit out.  Sometimes it's unavoidable.

On the other hand, I am a Paranormal Investigator so it definitely comes in handy during investigations.  Sometimes, things just get weird.

I was on an investigation this past weekend and the entire evening I was stressing and thinking that I left my car lights on and that I would get into my car at 3am and the battery would be dead.  I don't know how many times I walked around the house to the edge of the porch and checked my car, each time knowing that the lights were off.  (But where they really off the last twelve times I checked and I just couldn't tell because  of the way the streetlight was shining.)


When we were all packed up and ready to go, I gave strict orders to another investigator that he was not to leave until I had turned my car on and was ready to go.  I got to the car, turned it on and it turned over.  I was so relieved.  I drove home (checking my back seat twelve thousand times to make sure I didn't have any hitchhikers), pulled in, and went to sleep.

The next day what do I find, but another investigator that had carpooled had to be jumped when he got back to another investigator's home.  He had left his lights on and his battery died while we were at the investigation.

Coincidence?  Maybe.

Maybe not.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Multiculturalism at the birdfeeder

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Monday, June 13, 2011

My weekend in pictures

I spent a lot of time with my camera this weekend.  I went to a Pink Party for my cousin's new addition.  Unfortunately I left before I could take any snaps (sorry mom and ditter) and went immediately to an 8th grade graduation party (can't post the shots from there because I don't have parental clearance- I'm such a tease.)

Yesterday, I decided to do a little bird watching along with some nature shots of my progressing garden.  The crazy heat has speeded things up a bit, though I’m not sure how much because I am horrible with timing.  I never remember when things are going to bloom.  When they do, they do…

So here is my weekend in pictures.  Well, yesterday at least.

Here are some gratuitous Daisy shots just because she’s so damn cute.

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Enjoy your week!  33 days until some awesome Key West pictures are taken.

Friday, June 10, 2011

I totally invented Planking

Source





You know, the coolest thing since Parkour except you just lay there.  That's my kind of extra curricular activity.

Everyone that knows me, knows I am possibly the clumsiest person on the earth.  I fall.  All. The. Time. If there is a crack in the sidewalk, the front of my shoe will find it.  It's not that I'm not observant.  I just don't pay attention.  I'm just focused on other things, like talking and taking in the scenery.  I'm not staring at the ground. 

I'm CONFIDENT.  I'm even confident when I fall.  I make a big joke out of it.  I never often cry.

This one time (at band camp) at Friendly's, my co-workers and I were walking out of the restaurant.  The leeft heel of my superfabulous, plastic-heeled sandals slid right out in front of me, split-style.  My right leg tried to compensate, and down I went like a spontaneous proposal.

I'd like to say it was graceful, but I'm positively certain that my throat let loose a wild, "WHOA!" as I went down.  I lay there for a bit.  Once I had gathered my senses, I burst into laughter, got up and turned to the rest of the restaurant and bowed.  I'm sure there was an arm flourish because I'm all about the artistic details.

The manager rushed over to be sure that I wasn't going to sue them.  I had to sign some papers saying I wouldn't sue Friendly's and I was told that I would be getting a call from their Risk Management people. My friends say that the floor was wet, but I don't think it was.  They were slippery shoes and I was not paying attention and flapping my gums.  Friendly's was really great about the whole thing.

That afternoon, my knee swelled up to the size of a large grapefruit.  Hubs took me to the ER and I left with a fluffy new accessory.  The leg brace.

A couple weeks later, I came home after a particularly aggravating Open House (during my dark days of being a real estate "volunteer.") I whipped off my spiky heels, threw on a pair of flip flops and grabbed a Manhattan.  (My father-in-law had made them in honor of the Phillies making the playoffs that year.)
I walked outside, took a sip, stepped off the deck and hit the deck.  I flung my arms out and threw my Manhattan across the yard, but I held on to that glass!

I lay there sprawled out on the river-stones that hubs had probably raked that day while hubs tried to keep his giggles at bay.  My ankles had rolled.  Both.Of.Them.  When I regained my composure and stopped wailing like a two-year-old, I exclaimed, "I only took one sip!"

Again, a couple days later, I ended up in the ER with swollen ankles.  They asked me if I felt safe in my home.  I told them I didn't feel safe around myself!  I then promptly told them I was joking and no, I was not trying to harm myself, yes I feel safe in my home, I'm a clutz with poor fashion choices. I left with another flufyish accessory, the air cast. 

There are other stories, like when I tripped up our basement steps, knocked the door open and flew into the wall leaving a shoulder size hole in it all the time yelling, "I'm FINE!  I'm FINE!"  Hubs had fun fixing that one.  There was the time, in college, when I tripped after walking over the railroad tracks, did a flip in the air and landed on my knees, but still kept my lit cigarette. (My friend peed her pants laughing, by the way.)  Aaaand of course there is the story of my "trip" to Key West.  We've all heard about that one.

So, you see, I really invented Planking.  Maybe I'm in more of the Interpretive Planking section.  Had I known it would have taken off, I would have absolutely publicized it before anyone else.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

A walk through my garden

I've been really restless lately.  I'm looking so forward to vacation that I find myself speeding through my day wishing that vacation would come sooner. (38 days to go, by the way)
It occurred to me, today, that I should really try and find things that delight me every day and not just wait for the "big" things.
So, I took out my camera and took a stroll through the back garden.

These things definitely delight me.

Yarrow - should be yellow soon

Rose Bush with undetermined name - These roses were planted in our first "real" apartment.  I dug them up and took them with me when we moved. I was worried they would survive.  It's been five years.

Feverfew  - It's taking over the garden, but I love the flowers.

Joseph's Coat Roses - I love roses.  I have six plants right now.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Expanding my repertoire

So, I’ve realized that I take a lot of pictures of plants and though they are beautiful, I think I focus on them too much.  I think it’s because I love macro photography so much.

This past weekend I was at a Memorial Day BBQ aka the Opening of Pool Club (the name we have lovingly given our summer gathering spot) and I decided to get my camera out and take some snaps. 

Here are some of the faces of Pool Club.

LynnHannah - 2

Jaci

Dave

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I could use some improvement, but I’m happy with learning. 

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