Thursday, June 30, 2011

An open letter to public restroom users of the female persuasion

Women are pigs.  Yeah, I said it.  Women are pigs in a public restroom. 

You can make available all of the toilet seat covers in the world.  Women will still pee all over the seats and leave it for the next person to deal with.  You've got a toilet seat cover, SIT DOWN!  Unless, of course, the pig before you left feces all over the seat.  I've seen it.  It happens.

You do not have to use an entire industrial-sized roll of toilet paper each time you wipe.  You're killing trees, not to mention you're clogging the toilet for the next user.  I am by no means encouraging you to shake it off (though I'm convinced some people do) or use one square, but you do not have to cover your arm up to your elbow, for God's sake. If you drop a square on the floor, PICK IT UP.  I should not have to check my shoes when I leave the stall.

You do need to wash your hands, but you DO NOT need to splash water all over the vanity.  If you do, wipe it off.  There is no reason why I should have to have the tell-tale sink line across my crotch because you can't clean up after yourself.

You do need to make sure that your used paper towel is in the trash can.  I do not clean up after people at home and I'm sure as hell not going to clean up after a stranger.

Please follow these simple rules.  I will call a bitch out for bathroom indiscretions.  I've done it before and I will do it again.

Thank you for your attention.



  1. Agreed. I literally have no idea how people get their "business" EVERYWHERE. What are these people doing?
    I've definitely called out people for not washing their hands, but I think I am going to add splashing to the list.

  2. I almost took my phone into the bathroom with me today. I felt the need to prove my rant. Roll of tp on the floor and someone had kicked it instead of picking it up. I just don't get it!


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