My Weekend In Pictures

Hubs and I took a drive to a local farm to get some natural meat and eggs.  Of course I had camera in hand.  We all know I love the Macro setting on my camera, but unfortunately I could not get a ton of good shots because the animals were constantly moving.  And you know I whined about wanting an SLR…  A lot.

They had enormous squash!  Some of them were over 40lbs!

I had to get some pomegranates to “enjoy” at some point this weekend.  They’re so pretty!

And then I ate one…  And it got messy…

Happy Halloween!

Seeing the Forest

I have realized that I see things as if I’m a Macro lens and while it’s nice to have focus, sometimes you don’t see the bigger picture.  Dwelling on the small stuff is often destructive.  Knowing how to switch gears sometimes needs to be learned.  I’m learning.

Out Damned Spot!

I can’t seem to get out of my own head lately.  

I have not been on medication for a year or so and I thought I was doing well, but I’m starting to think that I’ve been fooling myself.  Scratch that, I have been fooling myself.  I still think that I need a coping mechanism that doesn’t involve chemicals or spending money because I don’t think that you can totally rely on medication.  For a long time that has been knitting, but lately it seems that isn’t even helping.  I find myself messing up the pattern because I get lost in my head, in some conversation that happened during the day in which I think that I may have looked like an idiot or didn’t know what I was talking about or I used the wrong word, or I said too much or I said the same thing too much or someone looked at me the wrong way or I must be annoying and that is why my someone snapped at me or I really am not good at what I do and some day soon they will figure it out and fire me and what am I going to do with my life when this happens and what if I get pregnant and what if I never get pregnant and never have children and should I really have children because I’m clearly CRAZY and can’t get out of my own head!

So, I’ve resolved that I am going to suck it up, stop the excuses, and go back to my doctor.  I’ve never had a proper diagnosis from a mental health professional.  One doctor has said it’s anxiety and depression and another has said that I am Bipolar.  Whatever it is, I need a plan to get better because something is clearly not working.  Whew!  I feel better already!

Mountain Retreat

I’ve finally edited some of the photos I took while visiting my parents a couple of weekends ago.

Here they are!

View Full Album

There are more and I’m slowly making my way through them.

Old friends

There are few people who know me and know me well. There are a lot of people who probably think they do, but I don't really let people in quickly.
I am erratic, flighty, but at times am super intense and emotionally demanding. I expect too much of people because I expect too much of myself.
That being said, there are a select few people that have hung in there and I am glad they tolerate my behavior and accept me, warts and all.
I'm presently on my way to my college Alma mater for Homecoming to meet up with some of these people. It's amazing that there are some people that you don't see very often and when you do, it's like no time has passed.
Of course you catch up on each other's lives, but it's incredible how easy it is to fall into that same comfortable friendship - Just as easy as your favorite, well-worn, well-loved sweatshirt.
I'll try not to get too sentimental this weekend, but it's going to be hard.
I promise many photos. Faces may be blurred to protect the "innocent."

I’m lazy

So I will post a photo.  I have some things brewing and stewing in my brain, but until then…. a photo you will get.  Or photos…. I’m indecisive.  These are some of the shots from the canning extravaganza a couple of weekends ago while I was visiting my parents.

 

Speaking of brewing and stewing…

Fall Favorites

I have many more pictures to post from my trip to my parents, but for now you’ll have to be satisfied with this.  This was taken before the hand cramping peeling and coring.  The results were way worth it.