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Today, while I was talking to a co-worker she mentioned that I came up in a conversation she was having with her boyfriend.
“I was talking to Mike and I said that no matter how mad Suz is, she always seems so nice. Even when I know she can’t stand the person… I’m so not like that. It’s obvious when I don’t like someone and I think that’s bad.”
That got me thinking. Am I too nice? Do I take too much crap from other people? I have long been the doormat choosing the “kill them with kindness” route, but then there are those times when I’ve had enough and I let some poor soul have it. This normally happens at the most inopportune times.
Did you ever get so sick of the way that someone treats you that you vow that the next time they piss you off you’re going to let them have it? Invariably the next “offense” is so minor and you flip out making yourself look like the asshole. I guess everyone does that, but I seem to do that a lot. I think because I let things simmer slowly for a long time. When I finally come to a boil, it’s a nasty i-forgot-to-turn-down-the-heat-and-there-is-milk-in-the-water kind of boil over. It stinks.
I really do try to turn the other cheek anymore and try and kill them with kindness, but sometimes I think that the person that you’re “killing” ends up thinking you’re an idiot because they’re clearly walking all over you and you’re just taking it and smiling. I guess that’s when you have to believe in Karma and that the universe will give that person a big old slice of Karma pie someday.
I really want to be there when some people get slapped in the face with it. Really.
So, am I too nice? I guess sometimes I am, but sometimes I’m ridiculously angry for no reason and over-reactive (is that a word?), and whiney.
I guess I’m just human.
That whole flip-out-for-no-reason thing? Douglas Coupland (the guy who wrote Generation X) calls that "the emotional ketchup burst." You know, when you shake the bottle good and hard, and nothing comes out. Nothing, shake-shake, nothing, shake-shake, nothing shake-shake-slap-shake...holy crap that's too much! Does anyone need some ketchup?
ReplyDeleteI've never seen you do that, by the way. At least I don't think I have. I think women generally think they have to be nice no matter what's happening, no matter how they feel. Then someone irritating does one last stupid thing and wham! Ketchup everywhere.
I've learned a really good word recently for dealing with people who walk all over you: "No." Don't be mean, don't be angry, just be firm. No.
Like that woman at BlogHer who waited until we were at the front of the line (after 45 minutes) and then asked if we could come back later? No.
I have to learn, "No."
ReplyDeleteIt might come in handy. :)