(Pardon the paraphrasing)
Vee – I’m sorry to contact you at work, but someone has hacked your Gmail account and is impersonating you.
I immediately freak and grab my phone and realize that someone has, indeed, hacked into my Gmail account and sent the most scandalous email. ( The red italics are my commentary.)
Subject: (BRUTAL EXPERIENCE) I NEED YOUR HELP URGENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am writing this mail with tears in my eye. (In the flight over I seem to have lost an eye. Horrible accident, I’ll tell you more about that in tomorrow’s post.)I thought I could reach out to you to help me out. I came out to United Kingdom for a short vacation
unfortunately I was mugged at the park of the Hotel where I stayed,
all cash,credit card and cell phone ( I would kill for my phone so this, you can see, is a serious situation.) were stolen from me but luckily for me I still have my passport with me. I've been to the
embassy and the Police here but they're not helping issues at all
and my flight leaves in few hour from now but.
I am having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager
won't let me leave until I settle the bills. (What an asshole. He let me use his work computer to send this email though. He’s not heartless!)I need your help to loan me some money wheni get back i will refund it back asap.(I pinky swear!) Thanks Susannah (my last name is here too, but well…)
Now first of all, the grammar is atrocious. No one could possibly think it’s me. (I hope.) Second, I don’t have a passport. You fail, asshole. Third, I talk to my family EVERY day. (Ok, I email almost every day… Ok, at least once a week.) They know I’mnot overseas. Oh no, you suck again!With all that said, I’m mortified! Someone at work told me that they saw this exactsame situation on the news recently. Some poor sucker fell for it and sent this Nigerian individual (yes, he/she was from Nigeria) money. We’re talking thousandsof dollars. Duh! They must walk around with a neon “I’m a sucker for everything” sign above their head. Sorry if you’re one of those people that falls for every email. You know you’re gullible. This is not news. Ok, back to the story. Not only did this person have the audacity to hackinto MY email account (I’m important, you see….) they have the double audacity to correspond with my sister?“OMG I can’t believe I didn’t tell you about my trip!” Really? Really? So, since Gmail is blocked at work, I had to clumsily change my password frommy phone.Then I logged in and realized that this asshat had gone into my settings and forwarded my Gmail to this other email address at Yahoo. Now I feel REALLYviolated. Thank goodness I don’t have any real personal information on that emailaccount, or any for that matter. Thankfully, my sister (being the angel that she is and yes I’m sucking up becauseChristmas is coming. No really you’re an angel --Vee) sent the whole thing to Yahooreporting it as Fraud and Phishing.What’s the moral of the story here, kids? Don’t go on your iPhone when you’re in the Philadelphia Airport. Also, don’t get mugged outside of your hotel while visiting the UK for a short vacation. The concierge at the hotel is really a jerk and will holdyou hostage until you bilk your friends and family for money to pay the bill.










I so wanted to mess with this person by asking things like, "When did you get a passport?" and "You went to Great Britain without me?!? Then you're stuck there, bee-otch."
ReplyDeleteMom also sent them an email threatening them with the FBI. I don't think that works internationally, but since we didn't have any idea where Phishy McSpam was from it seems a viable threat.
By the way, the spacing in your post is kinda funky. I had to copy-and-paste the text into notepad before I could read it all.